and the best part about it is I'm the only who can do somethin' about it

[bye_felicia]

It hits her out of nowhere. One minute, she's berating a waitress for serving someone else before her, the next she's sitting there, staring open-mouthed at a girl near tears, the words still buzzing around in her head, sitting on her tongue, with surprise the only thing keeping them at bay.

The girl doesn't deserve this, she realizes suddenly. This is just the way that things are.

They're not home anymore. She can't treat people like this.

The girl runs away, escapes, and Victra doesn't see her again until she delivers her plate of food, so hot and fresh it's ready to burn her tongue.

But Victra can't pay any attention to her now. She has more important people in her life that she needs to apologize to. Her phone's already out and she's sending a mass text message with her location to everyone in her neatly cultivated contacts list.

I'm back to normal. Sorry.

And to Lincoln, an added:

Please forgive me.

Comments

[bye_felicia]

She's proud of Jesse for not immediately accepting her apology and carrying on. She might have expected it from him, because he's so easygoing and friendly usually, but she deserves a rebuff. Her behavior the past few days has been truly awful, and nothing like what any of her few friends is used to.

Here or there? Just let me know where to see you and I'll be there.

Like hell she's going to lose Jesse as a friend because of something slagging City nonsense.

[a_capella_boy]

Jesse stared at his phone for a moment, thinking it over. He wasn't the only one that had been missing Victra, Ripley had been asking to see "Auntie Victa" and it was hard to tell her that she couldn't see her right now. But Jesse didn't want to have Victra come over if she was still horrible.

But if she was asking to apologize then she was definitely back to herself. He was sure that Victra felt awful about what she'd done but he also had faith that she knew he wouldn't really blame her for it despite the need for the apology. Honestly if she had said that she was better and didn't offer an apology Jesse he wasn't sure if he could have argued if he deserved one. It wasn't like she chose to become someone she no longer wanted to be. No, Jesse took it as a sign that she valued their friendship so much she was willing to offer an apology and that decided things for him.

We're both at home. Why don't you stop by here?

[bye_felicia]

On my way.

She leaves the diner without paying for her coffee, focused as she is on Jesse and Ripley and what she needs to do. The words for her apology play out in her mind -- as well as the defense that she wasn't in control of herself, didn't know that she was saying what she was saying. But when it comes time to stand in front of Jesse's door, she's got little more on her tongue than a few key words.

She knocks on the door and when he answers, immediately he's greeted with, "I'm sorry."

[a_capella_boy]

"I know. And I know if it was just some city bullshit and that's not something you'd say to me," he told her. Because he wanted her to know that, he wanted her to know that he knew what sort of person she was now. He figured that was how she used to be, or at least something like that, but that wasn't his friend who had said that.

"And I forgive you. But I am totally going to press my advantage here and ask if I can have a hug because I have really missed my friend."

He figured Julie would appreciate the tactics involved in that. Jesse also knew that if she didn't want to hug she'd feel comfortable telling him no.

[bye_felicia]

Victra huffs out a soft, choked laugh, her chest feeling tight with emotion -- guilt and fear and relief and amusement -- and her throat dry. Even now, without the intrusion of the city into her mind, Victra doesn't know what she's done to deserve someone as caring as Jesse in her life. But she'll take it. She'll take it with both arms wrapping around him into a tight hug.

"I wish I could say I missed you too," she says. "Instead I've got all these memories of not feeling anything."

[a_capella_boy]

Jesse hugged her back tightly as she hugged him, grateful to have his friend back. It was an uncharacteristic display of emotion from her but one that he was grateful for and was a testament to just how her change had affected her.

“That has to be unsettling,” he said, trying to imagine what it would be like to just feel nothing. “Were you- is that what you were like before?”

[bye_felicia]

She nods quietly, without a wince or grimace, just a simple, straightforward acknowledgment.

"Yes," Victra says. "Probably worse this time around because everything was pissing me off, due to not being home. But basically, that was me, in all my glory."

It's not a hard thing to admit to. A part of her doesn't want to, but she's too honest to try and hide from what she was, what a part of her still is.

[a_capella_boy]

“Is it weird that I’m even more proud of you now that I’ve seen what you were like?” Jesse asked. Sure he always had the other Gold in the city to compare her to but it was difficult for him to actually visualize Victra being that way. Now he didn’t really have that difficulty.

“It takes a lot to have such a complete turn around, especially against a system that favors you. I know you’re proud of yourself for a lot of stuff but that definitely should be one of the things.”